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Jill Kelly Reveals Severe Depression Following Hunter's Death

11:04 AM, Sep 10, 2010   |    comments
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BUFFALO, NY - This week, Jim and Jill Kelly began opening their lives - warts and all - to the world.

Jill's book, "Without A Word" was released on Thursday - the book reveals some of the most intimate details of the couple's life together.

"It's sharing our heart- the good, the bad, the ugly," said Jill.

The ugly was the state of the Kelly's marriage during Hunter's life.

Jill Kelly's journals take readers back to those troubled times, where both she and Jim say they were living very separate lives and Hunter was the only thing that kept them together.

"Somehow our home was filled with life and love and my dying marriage couldn't prevent it," Jill wrote in her journal during that time.

For Jill, the bad came about eight months after Hunter's death when she fell into a crippling depression.

Jill Kelly: "It was very scary because I did not want to live anymore myself."

Scott Brown: "You write in the book that you were afraid to go into the kitchen because there were knives there."

Jill Kelly: "Yeah, I was afraid to go near anything that caused me harm, and that's why I had a hard time driving and that's why I eventually stopped driving."

Scott Brown: "During that time were you afraid of what might happen to Jill?"

Jim Kelly: "Afraid? I didn't even know it. I had no clue. We kept a lot of things to ourselves. I think it got to a point where she couldn't communicate with me anymore and I think that was both of us."

Jill Kelly: "There was so much going on in our relationship that was not good that I was just like why bother (telling Jim)? I'm just being honest, I really didn't think he would get it."

Jim says he got a lot of things once he read Jill's manuscript of "Without A Word."

Jim Kelly: "I probably shed more tears reading that book in two days that I did in the 49 and a half years in life than I had because I never showed my emotions."

Jill Kelly: "What Jim didn't tell you is after he read "Without A Word," he apologized to me.

He said 'I'm sorry, I didn't realize what was going on, I wasn't there for you.'"

Both Jim and Jill say that putting together "Without A Word" was an important part of the process that helped to save their marriage.

Jim Kelly: "It's always a work in progress, but it's a lot better than it was."

Jill Kelly: "We are both in this together, as opposed to not being in it at all."

Shortly after Hunter's diagnosis, a young Jill Kelly, amidst her grief sought to find meaning in what lay ahead for herself, her husband and their son.

"I truly believe that he's here to help someone else," Jill said at the time.

Now 14 years later, Jill is more convinced than ever that God had a plan for Hunter James Kelly.

That plan - that the little boy who would never speak, and would be with us for only eight and a half years, would live on - helping not only to save the lives of other children, but those of his parents as well. All without saying a word.

Jill Kelly: "I think Hunter allowed us to see life and love and faith and eternity in a different way.

"With the very breath that we've been given, the gift of that, we want to take advantage of it, and that includes "Hunter's Hope" that includes being an example for the Lord, it includes encouraging marriages that are falling apart, I'm thankful for that opportunity while I'm here."

And Jill adds about her beloved son, "I will never forget his love, I will never forget his joy, and I can't wait to see him again."

The Kelly's will be doing a number of book signings in Western New York:

* September 13, 7:00 p.m.
Barnes & Noble, 1565 Niagara Falls Blvd.

* September 18, 3:00 p.m.
Barnes & Noble, 3701 McKinley Parkway

* October, 12, 6:30 p.m.
Bender's Bookstore, 8550 Sheridan Drive

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